Today’s guest post is by Bill and Pam Farrel, relationship experts, international speakers, and the authors of 38 books, including the bestselling Men Are like Waffles, Women Are like Spaghetti. Bill and Pam Farrel have also teamed up with Faithlife to host a book group centered on their new devotional, A Couple’s Journey with God.

In our book The Marriage Code, we share about how vital it is to, while on your journey of love, stay in God’s Word as an individual, because the Holy Spirit will whisper to you the best ways to love your spouse. We believe that the “Great Decoder” is the Holy Spirit. No one knows your mate (or you) as well as the God who created each of you; so, of course, God will know the best path to love, peace, and unity.

God knows how to take a situation that can pull you apart and bring your hearts back together. For example:

Just recently, Bill and I found ourselves off rhythm with one another. I was frustrated by the many tasks still remaining on Bill’s “To Do” list, tasks that I thought should have been checked off. In short, I was afraid he would let me down. Bill was frustrated by what seemed to him to be unrealistic expectations. He was afraid he would never be able to live up to my “demands.”

There had been an underlying cooling of our relationship over a few days, and I began to pray that God would show me who needed to change and own the issue. Secretly, I hoped it would be Bill so I’d get a heartfelt apology. I could then valiantly forgive him, and I wouldn’t have to change his “To Do” list!

I have a habit of listening to Walk the Word music that I have downloaded on my iPod. That day at the gym, listening to the New Testament Experience, I heard some wonderfully irritating insight. Ephesians 4:1–3 was dramatically read into my heart:  “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

God’s Spirit then gently asked me: “Have you been humble toward Bill, or have you already decided it has to be Bill’s fault? Have you been gentle? Patient? Have you considered all of the responsibilities on his list coming from different directions? When was the last time you said ‘thank you’ instead of barking out orders or emailing requests for action? Pam, have you made every effort to bless Bill? Every effort to encourage Bill? Every effort to lower his stress? Every effort to meet his emotional needs? You are a relationship specialist, so you know better. Have you really been living worthy of your calling?  Pam, pause for a moment, right here in this exercise gym and pray. Ask Me what you can do for Bill that will help him feel My love, My plan, My hope. The way to your hope is to meet Bill’s needs right now rather than have him meet yours.”

Overall, Bill and I try to be very kind to one another in the workplace, and we both try to go “over the top” in our encouragement to each other. We have a lot of respect for the baggage that is still being redeemed from our pasts, and we don’t want to put more pressure than necessary on one another. However, the pressure of a looming deadline had taken the place of our positive interactions. Fortunately, I knew this part of our marriage code and decided to put into action the message that had been spoken into my heart. I called Bill up, took him to his favorite coffeehouse, and apologized. I told him the story of how God’s Spirit had instructed me, and then I listed off all of Bill’s traits that I appreciate, but had taken for granted. Emotional reconnection happened almost instantaneously. Physical connection, or Red Hot Monogamy, as we like to call it, happened that night behind our bedroom door.

When has the Holy Spirit directed you on how to love your spouse? Do you need God to give you some insider information now on how to love your mate? Pray and ask God to show you what to do or what to say to express love today.

Want more from Bill and Pam? Download A Couple’s Journey with God, and join the Faithlife study group now! 

Today’s guest post is by Becky Harling, an author, speaker, and women’s ministry consultant and life coach. Becky and her husband, Steve, have served together in pastoral ministry for over 30 years.

The greatest adventure of my life began with a challenge from my mentor, hours after I had been diagnosed with breast cancer. The challenge was this: try spending 20 minutes a day praising God for five days. At the time, I thought, “What a bizarre idea! I have just been diagnosed with cancer. The last thing I feel like doing is praising God. Shouldn’t I fast, pray, and beg God for healing?” But after wrestling with my thoughts, I decided to give praise a shot—after all, what did I have to lose? What I experienced in those five days radically changed my life.

Here’s an excerpt from my book, The 30-Day Challenge: “As I continued the practice of private praise, God’s presence became more tangible, and I began to change into a more positive, confident, and secure woman. The transformation I have experienced is undeniable. Praise changed me from being fearful, frantic, and insecure to being a calm woman filled with passion and purpose.”

We all worship something or someone because God designed us with a need to worship. It’s not as if God is some egotistical deity who constantly needs affirmation. He gave us the gift of worship for our benefit and His glory. When we praise God, our focus shifts. Our eyes are lifted off ourselves, and our problems, to His majesty and glory. In the process, we are changed because we become like the thing or person we worship (Psalm 115:4–8). I don’t know about you, but I want to be like Jesus, and that means I have to make worshiping and praising Jesus Christ a priority in my life. After spending so much time praising God, I am more convinced than ever that establishing intentional time for private praise is critical to transformation in the life of the believer.

The 30 Day Praise Challenge invites the reader into the adventure of praising God every day. Filled with tangible ideas as well as song suggestions from the nation’s top artists, the book guides the reader through the experience of praising God day by day. If you’re ready for the adventure of a lifetime, take the challenge—I guarantee you’ll change!

Get Becky Harling’s The 30-Day Praise Challenge, on sale for only $5.99!

Looking for a bit of good news? The Gospel of Matthew is full of it. In fact, the word “Gospel” literally translates to “good news.” According to the Blackaby’s devotional Encounters with God: The Gospel of Matthew, “Matthew was writing to tell the good news of Jesus’ miraculous and miracle-filled life, His life-giving messages, His sacrificial and atoning death, and His hope-inspiring and divine resurrection from the dead.”

What have you done lately to share God’s love and good news? Prayed with a coworker? Testified to a nonbeliever? Sang at church? If you’re not sure how to share the Gospel, here are three tips to get you started:

1. Pray: God loves to hear the prayers of his children, so ask him to give you the opportunity to pray with others and the bravery to reach out to those in need. Matthew 15:18 says, “What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart.” If you want to make a genuine connection with someone, one of the most honest ways you can show them God’s love is to pray with them and for them.

2. Relate: The Gospel of Matthew is the first book in the New Testament, so it plays a key role in transitioning between the Old and New Testaments. Matthew bridges this gap by structuring the Gospel so that it appeals to both Jews and Christians. In the same way, in order to reach out to others and show them love, sometimes we too need to put ourselves in their shoes. Sure, that barista was awfully rude this morning, but maybe he just lost a loved one. Yes, that lady cut you off on the freeway, but maybe she was on her way to the hospital. However easy it may be for us to blame others, God commands us to empathize: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” —Matthew 22:39.

3. Listen: As depicted throughout the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus spent a majority of his time communing with people as a way of showing them love and compassion. One of the simplest ways to share God’s love is just to give your time and attention to someone. You don’t have to preach or argue—just sit back, be quiet, and listen.

Above all things, trust that God is always with you, especially when reaching out to others. Matthew concludes his Gospel by commanding Jesus’ followers to become disciples of Christ and share his good news. “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” —Matthew 28:19–20

Learn more about how to share God’s good news by downloading Encounters with God: The Gospel of Matthew, now on sale for only $7.49!

Today’s guest post is by Suzanne Eller, one of the speakers and writers from the national Proverbs 31 ministry and cohost of the national radio show Encouragement Cafe.

Just forgive; Jesus did.

Choose to forgive. The Bible says we should.

What do you do when you’re faced with advice like this, but you walk away still burdened with feelings about, or entanglements with, a person or the past?

The word “forgive” is not, as many people think, one-dimensional. It doesn’t just mean “let go and let God”—a challenge for anyone who has experienced traumatizing abuse, injustice, neglect, or abandonment.

In fact, it’s a powerful word that helps us leave one place to discover another. It is comfort, a shield. It is God carrying a burden so big that we couldn’t carry it ourselves.

Twenty-eight years ago, I stood in a hospital room with my daughter in my arms. She was beautiful. I thanked God for her, but whispered in the same breath, “Please help me not mess this up.”

As far back as you could see in my family tree, there was brokenness, physical and emotional abuse, women marrying too young or to the wrong man. There was addiction, abandonment, and a legacy passed down from one woman to the next that left the receiver ill-equipped and burdened.

That prayer in the hospital room led me to the word forgive. I surrendered to the process over and over again, though I wasn’t sure how or why. I just knew it mattered to God, because I mattered to Him.

Did you know that there are over 120 references to forgiving in the NIV version of the Bible alone? Why so many? I believe it’s because forgiveness is vital to living free and unencumbered by a person, place, or series of events. Rather than a pithy statement of “just forgive,” it’s a powerful commandment and gift to those who love Christ.

Though living fully in today isn’t easy, God equips us to walk down that road to discover what it might look like. Understanding what forgiveness is, what it’s not, and what Scripture is really saying about it helps you discover the depths of what a grace-filled life offers.

The Unburdened Heart uses the power of story, along with in-depth study and insight into Scripture that unveils the word forgive, to offer practical and encouraging “a-ha” moments that delve so much deeper than “just do it.” It can be used for personal study, or its questions and Scriptures can be used in a small-group setting.

The Unburdened Heart promises, with the help of God’s Spirit, that you can leave pain to find wholeness, leave regret to find purpose, and leave the past to live fully in the present.

Yet it doesn’t shy away from the toughest hurdles in forgiveness, and gently comes alongside you, peeling away the layers to find answers that are life transforming.

It answers many questions, including:

• What is forgiveness?
• What do we gain when we forgive?
• Do we sometimes try to outforgive God?
• How does God move in after we forgive?
• How do you move past what you cannot change?
• How do you forgive yourself?
• How do you live as a forgiver daily?

And it breaks the stronghold that unforgiveness holds over a woman’s life.

Two years ago, I held another blue-eyed, blond-haired angel in my arms. Elle was my first grandchild, and I was overwhelmed as I realized that as far back as she could see, this little girl would find only whole and healthy women of faith. That prayer 28 years ago was answered—through forgiveness.

Forgiveness offers us a life that is not perfect, but is covered with grace and filled with hope for the future, with a whole and healed heart.

Download The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness today for only $9.74!

For centuries, scholars and theologians alike have been arguing over who wrote the Gospel of John. Was it John the Apostle? Was it Lazarus? Was it some unknown priest or disciple? No one knows for sure, but there is one primary clue about the Gospel’s authorship that answers a more meaningful question: What does it mean to be a true disciple of Christ?

Who Wrote the Gospel of John?

Instead of blatantly revealing the author, the Gospel of John gives a simple hint to the author’s identity. In John 13:23, the author identifies himself as the “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” The “Beloved Disciple” is mentioned a total of five times throughout the Gospel of John, although no further clues are given in regard to the author’s identity. By keeping the author a mystery and simply labeling him a “disciple,” the Gospel of John emphasizes selflessness and discipleship as opposed to personal glory. And this tactic has proven to be very effective in fulfilling the book’s overall mission.

For example, if someone were to ask, “What was the first Bible verse you memorized?,” chances are pretty good you’d say John 3:16. According to the Blackaby’s devotional Encounters with God: The Gospel of John, no Scripture has been more memorized or more instrumental in converting people to Christianity; clearly, the book’s uncertain authorship does nothing to detract from its effectiveness.

How to Be a True Disciple

So what does this teach us? That in putting God first and not claiming ownership or striving for personal recognition, we can become true vehicles for God’s mission. In short, when we put God’s glory before our own, we too become beloved disciples of Christ.

The Gospel of John is one of the most popular books in the Bible. Get more out of the Gospel of John by downloading Blackaby’s devotional Encounters with God: The Gospel of John today!

Luke, the New Testament’s longest book, is full of profound insight and dramatic encounters in the life of Jesus. Full of many of the Gospels’ best-loved stories and parables, Luke’s narrative is powerful and uplifting.

Thinking of leading a study through Luke’s Gospel? Looking for a powerful study to do on your own? Check out Encounters with God: The Gospel of Luke. This informative study from bestselling author Henry Blackaby is on sale right now for only $7.49.

You’ll get seven in-depth lessons, including:

• God Works through Ordinary Lives 
• Jesus Calls Ordinary People to Follow Him 
• Jesus Heals and Delivered All Who Came to Him 
• Jesus Has Compassion on Sinners and Outcasts 
• Jesus Emphasizes Love and Forgiveness to All 
• Jesus Seeks Out All Who Are Lost 
• Jesus Teaches Faithfulness and Watchfulness
  

Each lesson has five segments, using BASIC as an acronym. BASIC, here, doesn’t mean elementary or simple; it means foundational. These studies are focused on key aspects of what it means to be a Christ follower in today’s world. BASIC stands for:

B = Bible Focus. This segment presents the central passage for the lesson and a general explanation that covers the central theme or concern.

A = Application for Today. This portion has a story or illustration related to modern times, with questions that link the Bible text to today’s issues, problems, and concerns.

S = Supplementary Scriptures to Consider. Other Bible verses related to the general theme of the lesson.

I = Introspection and Implications. This part asks questions that lead to deeper reflection about one’s personal faith journey and life experiences.

C = Communicating the Good News. You finish with challenging questions aimed at ways in which the truth of the lesson might be lived out and shared with others (either to win the lost or to build up the church).

Download Encounters with God: The Gospel of Luke today, and explore this powerful Gospel.

According to the Gospel of Mark, Jesus was a man of action. Not only this, he was an emotional creature—someone who, while casting out demons with supernatural powers and raising the dead, was also expressing the same human emotions we grapple with every day. Emotions like compassion, love, sorrow, anger, shock, and wonder.

In merging these two characteristics, Mark establishes a clear image of Jesus as a powerful leader throughout the entire Gospel. Why is this so unique? Because Jesus lived in a time when Roman rule based its power on being ruthless and untouchable, yet Jesus challenged the Romans by presenting himself as a man who actively sought out his people by taking part in their daily lives and connecting with them emotionally.

According to the Blackabys’ devotional book, Encounters with God: The Gospel of Mark, “Mark is the Gospel writer who describes most the emotions of Jesus. Jesus is not an unfeeling, uncaring, untouchable Savior and Lord—He is the opposite of the uninvolved Roman deities . . . Jesus not only teaches, but He touches even those considered ritually or religiously unclean.”

So how is this applicable to the modern Christian? For starters, harnessing these same characteristics is invaluable for any small group leader. Here are three tips for small group leaders, adapted from Encounters with God:

1. Take action—it’s YOUR job to get the discussion started, so ask questions, develop talking points, and be confident enough to facilitate the conversation.

2. Get invested in the lives of others—involve every person in the group by actively addressing them and asking questions.

3. Be emotionally available—encourage an open, candid discussion. If you’re experiencing struggles in your own life, then share them; this may encourage others in your group to be more transparent and provides the opportunity to forge genuine relationships.

The Jesus portrayed in the Gospel of Mark embodied these characteristics as both a man of action and a counselor with emotional depth. That’s why the book of Mark is considered the most accessible Gospel by many Christians. So make yourself accessible and open up to your peers, and don’t be afraid to put your heart on the line.

Notice someone seems a little down at work? Take action: ask them what’s wrong. Dealing with some family issues? Open yourself up to a friend or counselor. In doing this, you have the opportunity to become a true leader and advocate for Christ’s mission and values.

Want to learn more? Check out the companion books to Encounters with God: The Gospel of Mark:

• Encounters with God: The Gospel of Matthew
• Encounters with God: The Gospel of Luke
• Encounters with God: The Gospel of John

Today’s guest post is by pediatric heart surgeon Hisashi Nikaidoh, MD, author of Healing Hearts: A Leading Pediatric Heart Surgeon Learns about the Journey from Grief to Life from These Inspiring Mothers of his Lost Patients

I belong to a unique group of people—a “club” no one ever wants to join: I have lost a child.

Before losing my son Hitoshi Nikaidoh in a tragic accident in 2003, I thought I knew at least a little something about this club. As a pediatric heart surgeon operating on infants within days or even hours of their birth, I knew many parents who had lost a child through congenital abnormalities or complications we were not able to successfully address. Whether these parents were very young adults barely out of high school or older people starting second families, nothing could have prepared them for the rollercoaster of grief that took over their lives. I always worked to be respectful, supportive, and helpful, and I never pretended to understand what they were going through.  Still, having lost loved ones myself, I thought I had at least some familiarity with their journey. I know now that I did not.

As I was trying to regain my footing after my own son’s loss, I kept thinking back to two of those parents. One was a woman named Linda whose son was not my patient—a toddler who fell into a swimming pool and never regained consciousness—but whom I saw every day in the ICU. Another was a woman named Julie whose daughter had lived for six years with a severe heart problem that we had done our best to fix. I kept thinking about these women because I saw them both at the hospital several years after their children’s death, and they both told me the same thing: “Dr. Nikaidoh, I work here now.”

Even at the time, I had been stunned! Why would a mother come to work in the hospital where her child had died? I never understood. But as I tried to come to terms with Hitoshi’s loss, I felt I needed to reach out to these parents. Maybe they knew something from their own grief experience, something that could help me. Over time I contacted these two women and six others, all of whom had lost a child and then devoted themselves to work, in some capacity, in the healthcare field. The book Healing Hearts was born.

Lessons Learned

I don’t believe there is one path, one list of suggestions, or any one particular practice that will help all parents navigate their unique grief journey. But I do know what I learned from my own experience and those shared by the eight mothers in the book:

1. A deceased child can become the leading light and encouragement for grieving parents.

2. The support of family is crucial.

3. The grieving process takes all shapes and lengths, and none is better or worse than any other.

4. Many parents wish to give something back to the hospital or caretakers who were there for their child, and these positive actions can help their recovery process.

5. Faith and trust in God can guide the grief journey and carry us into recovery.

C. Everett Koop, M.D, the late surgeon general of the United States (who wrote the preface to Healing Hearts, and who lost his own son in a tragic accident), stated that the book sends a clear message about “a plan beyond human understanding, i.e. the Sovereignty of God.” Each of these inspiring mothers shares their honest and gut-wrenching journey through grief, expressing their pain, anger, and attempts at solace with alcohol and bad relationships, as well as their decision to honor their child by committing to a life of service.

Ultimately, these are love stories—the powerful and reciprocal love of parents, children, caretakers, and most importantly, the love from the Above that brings healing to the broken-hearted.

Download Dr. Nikaidoh’s book, Healing Hearts: A Leading Pediatric Heart Surgeon Learns about the Journey from Grief to Life from These Inspiring Mothers of his Lost Patients, on Vyrso today!

Best-selling authors and relationship experts Bill and Pam Farrel have teamed up with Faithlife to host a book group centered on their new devotional, A Couple’s Journey with God. To better connect the book group with the authors, we sat down and interviewed Bill and Pam.

Until May 14, several of their best-selling books are on sale, including their newest book, 10 Questions Kids Ask about Sex.

Q: Your latest book discusses questions kids ask about sex. What was the toughest question to answer?

We need to communicate that God has a plan for sexuality:

1. Sex between a man and a woman IN MARRIAGE is God’s design because it protects the individual. Young people need to read 1 Thess. 4:3–8 to see why premarital sex (all sex of any kind) outside marriage is not God’s will.

2. Sex reflects Christ’s relationship with the church, according to Eph. 5:31–32.

3. Sex is a gift to couples in marriage, so God gave it priority by creating marriage to protect it. The Bible starts with a wedding (between the first man and the first woman) in Genesis 1 and 2, and ends with a wedding (of Christ and church) in Revelation. This makes marriage a pretty high priority to God.

Q: Is it true you have a formula in Red-Hot Monogamy that calculates how much time it takes for a couple to create a love that lasts a lifetime?

Yes, we explain how much T.I.M.E. it takes to keep a red-hot love life with a simple acrostic:

1. Ten to twenty minutes a day of talk time to stay emotionally connected.

2. Invest in a weekly date night to keep fanning the flame.

3. Monthly all-day getaway to be sure that your  needs for romance and sex are met.

4. Escape yearly—or better yet, twice a year: once for a marriage conference, and once for some rest and romance, like on your anniversary.

30% off the Marriage, Sex, and Questions Kids Ask book bundle:

Save 30% on three of Pam and Bill’s most popular ebooks on Vyrso.com. The bundle includes the author’s latest release: 10 Questions Kids Ask about Sex. This sale ends May 14. Get the bundle now!

• Red-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle
• 10 Questions Kids Ask about Sex
• 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband: How to Put a Smile on His Face

Click here to get all three books now! Sale ends May 14.

Want more from Bill and Pam? Join the Faithlife book group!

Today is the National Day of Prayer: a day when we come together to pray for those around us.

Mother Teresa put it best when she said, “Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” Prayer is a powerful and intimate way to connect with God.

In honor of the National Day of Prayer, we’ve compiled seven quotes on prayer from some of Vryso’s featured ebooks:

1. “Everything done under the heavens is accomplished through prayer. Nothing will stand against the forces of evil without it.” (click to tweet)

—John Bornschein, The Front Line: A Prayer Warrior’s Guide to Spiritual Battle

2. “Jesus taught us to lead creatively and wisely, but he refused to tell us exactly how to do it. He just said that the Word of God must be our Truth, and that he would leave his Spirit to guide ours. He  told us to pray.” (click to tweet)

—Richard Kriegbaum, Leadership Prayers

3. “Not only do our prayers please God, the Holy Spirit uses them to accomplish heaven’s purpose on earth.” (click to tweet)

—Bryan Chapell, Praying Backwards

4. “Perpetual prayer . . . will unleash the power.” (click to tweet)

—Dutch Sheets, Authority in Prayer

5. “When praying for marital authenticity, pray for the kind of heart and authentic spirit that Jesus modeled for us.” (click to tweet)

—Will Davis Jr., Pray Big for Your Marriage: The Power of Praying God’s Promises for Your Relationship

6. “God answers all of His children’s prayers. Often not instantly or in the way we would imagine, but He faithfully answers our prayers, often exceeding our requests.” (click to tweet)

—Lana Bateman, The Heart of Prayer

7. “Our Lord has given us a simple prescription for anxiety—pray. This medication claims to bring the peace of God that transcends all understanding.” (click to tweet)

—Susan Sorensen, Praying through Cancer: Set Your Heart Free from Fear

Invest in your prayer life—download some of these ebooks today.