Husband and wife duo Kyle and Kelsey Kupecky recently teamed up to write The Chase: Trusting God with Your Happily Ever After, their new ebook all about relationships, dating, and pursuing God in relationships. Kelsey, daughter to Karen Kingsbury, is is a designer of “Possibilities,” a DaySpring greeting card and gift line, and an actress in several films. Kyle is a Christian recording artist—he has toured with Lecrae, MercyMe, and Steven Curtis Chapman.
Vyrso had the chance to get the inside scoop on Kyle and Kelsey’s love story, tips for Christian couples as they begin dating, traits to look for in a future spouse, and so much more.
Tell us a little bit about your story—how did you two meet?
Kyle: The first time I ever met Kelsey was backstage at a concert in Portland, Oregon. When I met Kelsey, I could tell right away that she was different than most girls at concerts. She was confident, kind, and fun. She was just being herself and that really drew me in. That caught my eye. I began to pursue Kelsey. I would drive hours to see her only for a little while before she had to catch a plane. And Kelsey would fly to my nearest shows. Endless hours of Skype dates soon followed and we began dating. We are both romantics, so handwritten notes, love songs, and lots of laughter colored our relationship. We quickly fell in love.
In The Chase, you make the point that it’s important for young men and women to chase after God instead of chasing after fairy tales and dating relationships. How would you say young Christians will know when you are ready to start dating?
Kelsey: When your identity is completely wrapped up in God. When you are completely defined by his love. [Click to Tweet!] You aren’t ready for a romantic relationship until you chase God first. That way, you’ll be defined by God’s love. Not by a guy or a girl or a relationship. Your beauty and self-worth will be wrapped up in God, bringing you peace and confidence. The secret to being ready for a relationship is keeping your heart connected to God.
What are ways young singles can start making themselves ready for marriage?
Kyle: Think of being single as a time when God is preparing you for your future. Every minute, every hour, every month, every year of singleness is a crucial part of your preparation and journey to meet your potential future love.
What traits should young men and women be looking for in their future spouse?
Kelsey: Character, confidence, and a passion for Jesus. The perfect combination is when you find someone who gets your heart racing but also has a deep and genuine faith. What a beautiful combination. And don’t for a second think that dreaming about your future spouse is wrong or that your standards are too high! God knows and his timing is perfect.
What are five of your go-to tips you would give to Christian boys and girls as they begin to start dating?
Kyle: For Christian guys:
1. Pray about the relationship.
2. Lead her spiritually—talk about God with her. Share with her what God’s doing in your life. Read the Bible together.
3. Respect her by practicing purity and talking about it throughout the relationship.
4. Show her how much she means to you. She’s a prized jewel God created with his own hands. Show that with your actions.
5. Give of yourself sacrificially. Choose her over your own interests. If you find yourself really struggling here. . . maybe she’s not the one.
Kelsey: For Christian girls:
1. Pray about the relationship.
2. Protect your heart. You deserve nothing but the very best when it comes to guys. So don’t fall in love too fast.
3. Build up the guy with your words. Affirmation is the key to a guy’s heart.
4. Respect the guy by letting him lead. If you let a guy lead the relationship instead of maneuvering it yourself to where you want it to go, you’ll be able to see more clearly how serious he is about the relationship and if he’s leading you in a godly way
5. Practice purity and to talk about it throughout the relationship. Make sure you’re both on the same page.
What are ways that young Christians can guard their heart as they are dating?
Kelsey: Pray for wisdom. Pray for protection for your heart. And praying doesn’t have to be fancy or perfectly planned out. Praying is just telling God what’s on your heart. If you talk to him about the relationship, he’ll show you what to do. And if you don’t get an answer from God right away, wait.
What are some pieces of advice you would give to anyone who has dated before they were ready and made mistakes they now regret? How does grace play into their picture?
Kyle: We are going to mess up, but it’s what we learn from those mistakes that really counts. God offers grace and forgiveness beyond measure. We don’t deserve it, but he grants it freely. [Click to Tweet!] All it takes is for us to acknowledge that we messed up, that we are broken, and that we desperately need his help and forgiveness.
You can choose today to start again. You can still find your happily ever after with God’s guidance. We all have to live with the consequences of our actions, but God is right there helping us.
Read more insights from Kyle and Kelsey’s story and the stories of others about putting God first in their relationships, protecting purity, dealing with loneliness, and so much more in The Chase!