“Even when motherhood feels wonderful, it’s overwhelming.” —Susan Besze Wallace
Almost every mom has felt this way—that even between the joy of first smiles, first steps, and first words are the burdens of last-minute wardrobe changes, last-to-the-dinner-table meals, and the very last things you feel like doing (e.g., today’s millionth diaper change). So how do new moms balance the good and the bad? That’s just it—there has to be a balance.
Adapted from Wallace’s book, The New Mom’s Guide to Life with Baby, here are four ways to keep your faith and marriage strong, while acclimating to your new role as a mom:
1. Establish a daily routine that accommodates your needs
In order to stay sane, map out a few things that are important to you that you want (or need) to make daily habits. Here are a few priority items to consider: a new activity for the baby—this could be a new song, a new walk, or a new story; a comforting activity for you—devotions, a bubble bath, or (God willing) a nap; and a loving act toward your husband—like words of affirmation or a special note in his lunch. Obviously every mom is different, so your needs are different; pinpoint the most fulfilling parts of your day and make them habits.
2. Understand the changes in your body
Just because you’ve given birth doesn’t mean the labor’s over. From breast-feeding to weight gain to hormonal changes, your body is unquestionably different after having a baby. So instead of crying over your favorite pair of pants that are now three sizes too small, accept your body’s changes, find out what’s healthy and what’s not, and talk to other moms for support. I’m not going to go into details here, but Wallace does. So if you want specific answers to your very specific questions, check out her guide for new moms.
3. Keep your marriage strong
Have you asked your husband how he’s doing with the baby lately? Have you shared how you’re feeling? Physical intimacy starts with emotional intimacy, so to keep your marriage strong, you need to keep strong communication. Parenthood brings to light all-new strengths and skills—notice your spouse’s and tell him. Is he particularly loving and playful with the baby? Let him know. Is he more attentive to you now that you’ve given birth? Thank him for his support. Likewise, if he’s not giving you the support you need, tell him.
4. Find your own mothering style
Every mom is different, so don’t compare yourself to other Pinterest-perfect moms. God made you who you are for a very specific reason, so embrace your unique, God-given gifts, and use them to be the unique, God-loving mother he created you to be. Here’s what Wallace says about it: “It’s important to remember that you are this child’s mom. You may not have every trick and technique in your arsenal yet, but you have a set of sensitivities and sensibilities that you will build on, or deconstruct. That’s the journey of motherhood.”
Learn more about the nitty gritty details of motherhood and how to stay strong throughout life’s changes: get Susan Besze Wallace’s The New Mom’s Guide to Life with a Baby for just $9!
“Even when motherhood feels wonderful, it’s overwhelming.” —Susan Besze Wallace Almost every mom has felt this way—that even between the joy of first smiles, first steps, and first words are the burdens of last-minute wardrobe changes, last-to-the-dinner-table meals, and the very last things you feel like doing (e.g., today’s millionth diaper change). So how do […]