Today’s interview is with Sarah Jakes, a businesswoman, media personality, and author of the new book Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life. This memoir is a captivating look at Jakes’ journey, including her struggles with being a teen mom and the daughter of T.D. Jakes—a high-profile preacher. This honest and vulnerable story is a reminder that God can turn even the deepest pain into his perfection. Download her memoir and call to action, Lost and Found, today!
1. You said your story is “not always pretty.” What prompted you to share the life lessons you have experienced in Lost and Found?
I never set out to write a book. When I first started writing my blog, I started it as a source of healing for me. I started it as a place to release the pain I was going through dealing with infidelity and still fighting for my marriage. I started the blog as a place I could just tell my truth, and the more I blogged, the more people responded. I then realized that by being transparent and sharing my struggles, I was able to inspire other people, and together, we all started to dream again.
2. What have been some of the detours in your life?
I have faced a few detours in my life: having my son at age 14, getting married and divorced young, and even some of the choices I’ve made. But what I learned through it all is that the detours may make things more difficult, but they don’t make things impossible. I thought I couldn’t achieve success in my life because of past mistakes. I thought I had to create a perfect picture to present to God in order for him to use me, but what I found out what exactly opposite. God is using my life as an example to others that no matter how “lost” they may be, they can still be “found.”
3. In what ways do you mean you were “lost?”
I spent many years focusing on who I didn’t want to become. I knew because of the statistics that come with being a teen mother, I would have to be determined if I wanted to break the mold. I focused so intently on who I didn’t want to become that it became the only thing I could see. Unintentionally, I became everything I hoped I wouldn’t be. The most difficult thing about being lost is knowing you should have been somewhere else. I started grieving that I could never be that person, then one day decided I still had time to find my way.
4. How did living in the public eye affect you during these challenging times?
It was certainly challenging to go through some of the things I went through under the spotlight of the public eye. My father was continually rising. He was one of the most influential pastors in the country, so it certainly made it more difficult to be his daughter, 14 and pregnant. I still remember the murmurs of the people in the church and the shame I felt as they would talk about me as they passed by. It was even more challenging to go through a divorce with the public spotlight once again on my personal life. One thing I am really hoping people get from this book is that we need to treat the wounds of hurting people with grace, rather than infecting them with judgment.
5. You mention that the birth of your son “saved” you. Will you please explain that?
I loved my son more than I loved myself. His life grounded me. No matter how tempting becoming complacent seemed, I couldn’t deny that even if I didn’t feel like I deserved more out of life, I knew that he did. He and his sister, Makenzie, constantly remind me that I can’t stay lost. I want them to have the best possible start in life and I know that begins with loving myself and God, who gave them to me, fully.
6. How did you become found again?
I had to humble myself enough to admit I was lost. We get forced into playing this game where we all pretend to have it together, but suffer silently. I opened up little by little to the people who were in my life when I once felt the most whole. It was their reminder of who I used to be that made me miss myself. I missed laughing from the heart and smiling from the soul. I retraced my steps back to when I felt the most peace and updated it to fit my new reality.
7. You write, “No matter how lost you feel, it’s not too late.” Will you please explain what that means to you?
It is never too late to be “found.” As long as you still have life, you have another chance to get it together, to change your life, and to be found. Too often, we focus on our deficiencies, what we don’t have, or what we lack! It is time for us to stop focusing on what we don’t have and start focusing on what we DO have. We also allow people to put boundaries, expectations and definitions on us. I believe that we can revolutionize the way we do things, if we revolutionize the way we think. Who says a divorcée can’t be an author? Who says a teen mom can’t be successful? I say I can, and I say I will!
8. In the foreword, your father writes that you have become “a tool fit for the Master’s use.” In what ways do you partner with your parents in ministry?
I oversee the women’s ministry at The Potter’s House of Dallas, which is a church led by my parents, Bishop T.D. Jakes and Mrs. Serita Jakes. I also serve as the senior editor of eMotions, our digital magazine. I occasionally serve as a television host on The Potter’s Touch and a speaker at our conferences. It is amazing how God works because I also wanted to work with and support my parents, but I didn’t think I could because of my past mistakes.
9. How is Lost and Found more than a memoir, and who is it for?
Lost and Found is more than a book—it’s a call to action. It’s an opportunity for us to be more aware of the ways we engage one another, or more aware of the ways we treat each other. It’s an opportunity for us to be transparent and bare our scars, but it’s also an opportunity for others to handle them with care. Lost and Found is an opportunity for people to learn that no matter how bleak the situation is, they still have another opportunity to get it right.
Lost and Found is for everyone. It’s for teen moms who are trying to navigate motherhood and carve out a future for themselves and their children; it’s for men and women who are trying to redefine their lives; it’s for people who have failed at something in life and need the courage to try again. Lost and Found is for anyone who has ever felt lost at some point in their life. In a nutshell, it’s for everyone, and my hope is that it will inspire everyone who reads it to truly start living, celebrating, and enjoying their lives.
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Learn to dream, laugh, and hope again with Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life, Sarah Jakes’ inspirational new book. Get her story today!